A Celebratory Birthday Ritual to Honor My Motherlines
You know what I love? Birthdays. And last Sunday was my 38th birthday. I’m an inclusive birthday celebrator and believe everyone should be celebrated on their special day. On my birthdays, I insist on doing something unique to thoroughly mark the occasion as extraordinarily memorable.
Intriguingly, this way of birthday celebrating is similar to the original meaning of taboo. In Polynesian, the word is actually “tapu,” which means “to mark thoroughly”. Even though today we talk about taboo in negative terms, its original meaning is a simple, but purposeful, recognition of something (or someone) that is out of the ordinary from day to day life.
So, given the unpredictable circumstances of this year, I challenged myself to come up with plans that would be flexible, adaptable, and thoroughly remarkable. Knowing that distance travel would not be the best option, I turned inward to see what I could do close to home. Then, it came to me. For nearly 25 years, I have been having the same recurring dream: I am traveling down a winding, wooded road on Friday Harbor, WA. I am searching for the house my maternal grandparents built and lived in when I was a child; a place that holds many happy memories. I keep searching, but never find it.
Friday Harbor is an island off the mainland of Washington state and is a gigantic stone’s throw away from the southern tip of Vancouver Island, Canada. Just as my grandparents were preparing to move off the island, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer and died not too long afterward. I am not sure if she ever lived in her new house. Something about my reoccurring dream, and my childhood memory of her during that time in my life, seems to have been telling me that she never left and has remained there on Friday Harbor, waiting for me.
Neither my mother nor myself have been to the island since my grandmother died. Remembering this dream, I suddenly realized that the most memorable thing I could do for my birthday would be to travel to Friday Harbor with my mom and perform a ritual together to celebrate my grandmother, as well as the other women up my Motherline who made my life possible.
This is exactly what we did. After locating my grandmother’s favorite beach, I searched for the perfect piece of drift wood and decorated it with flowers in hues of red, pink and orange. Placing a strand of hair on the flower-decoration, we each whispered a prayer to my grandmother, and then named the mothers and grandmothers in our ancestral line as far back as our memories would allow. We toasted to Grandma Bev, and sipped champagne in her honor. We walked down to the water’s edge. I waded knee-deep in the cold water and gently released her flower-offering into the ocean.
On this side of my birthday, I can honestly say that this might be one of the most memorable birthdays of my life. Celebrating my life by honoring the lives of others was a unique experience.
What I am certain of is this: Setting my memory of my grandmother free into the ocean, freed something inside of me, too.
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Carol P. Christ, PhD
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Feature: Women to Follow
Carol P. Christ, PhD
Feminist Theologian, Goddess Scholar, and Ariadne Tour Leader
(Image: From her website)
I first learned about Carol P. Christ from “Why Women Need the Goddess”, an essay she published in 1979 in a book (Womanspirit Rising) she co-edited with Judith Plaskow. I am currently revisiting this essay—again—for the umpteenth time because it lays the foundation for my doctoral thesis. Needless to say, each time I read her essay I come away from it invigorated, inspired, and feeling as though I am on the right path.
Christ also leads Ariadne Pilgrimage Tours in Crete and has published many books on the Goddess.
Check out her website: goddessariadne.org